Hey there! Deciding to go to therapy is a big, brave step toward better mental health, and finding the right therapist is key to making the experience positive and effective. But how do you know if your therapist is a great match—or, worse, if they might be holding you back? In this article, I’ll walk you through some red flags—warning signs that a therapist might not be right for you—and green flags, which show that your therapist is someone who can help you thrive. Let’s dive in and help you feel more confident about recognizing what works (and what doesn’t) in a therapist!
Key Points of This Article
- What are red flags in a therapist, and why are they important to recognize?
- What are green flags that signal you’re in good hands?
- How to evaluate whether your therapist is the right fit for you.
- A warm conclusion to encourage and empower you to take charge of your mental health journey.
Red Flags in a Therapist
Therapy is supposed to be a safe, supportive space, so if any of the following warning signs pop up, take note. These behaviors can be harmful to your progress or even damaging:
1. Crossing Professional Boundaries
If your therapist talks about their personal life too much, tries to be your friend, or even asks for favors, this is a red flag. Therapy should always be about you.
2. Lack of Empathy or Judgmental Behavior
You should never feel criticized, dismissed, or judged in therapy. If your therapist makes you feel worse instead of better, it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
3. Talking About Other Clients
A therapist should never share details about their other clients. This breaks confidentiality and is highly unprofessional.
4. Focusing Too Much on Themselves
Are they talking more than you during sessions or pushing their opinions instead of listening? Therapy should always center on your experiences and needs.
5. Not Taking Feedback or Adjusting Treatment
If you feel stuck or your therapy sessions aren’t helping, and your therapist refuses to change their approach or listen to your concerns, it’s a red flag.
Remember, your comfort and safety in therapy are non-negotiable.
1. They Make You Feel Heard
You leave sessions feeling like your therapist really gets you—they listen without judgment, ask thoughtful questions, and make you feel validated.
2. They’re Professional Yet Warm
A great therapist strikes the perfect balance between professionalism and warmth. They maintain boundaries while showing genuine care for you.
3. They Tailor Therapy to You
Every person is different, and your therapist should adapt their approach to fit your needs, instead of sticking rigidly to one method.
4. They Respect Your Autonomy
A good therapist doesn’t tell you what to do; they guide you to make your own decisions and empower you to take charge of your life.
5. They’re Open to Feedback
If you feel like something isn’t working, they listen and make adjustments. Therapy is a collaborative process, and a good therapist values your input.
When you experience these green flags, it’s a sign you’re working with someone who truly wants to help you succeed.
1. Crossing Professional Boundaries
If your therapist talks about their personal life too much, tries to be your friend, or even asks for favors, this is a red flag. Therapy should always be about you.
2. Lack of Empathy or Judgmental Behavior
You should never feel criticized, dismissed, or judged in therapy. If your therapist makes you feel worse instead of better, it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
3. Talking About Other Clients
A therapist should never share details about their other clients. This breaks confidentiality and is highly unprofessional.
4. Focusing Too Much on Themselves
Are they talking more than you during sessions or pushing their opinions instead of listening? Therapy should always center on your experiences and needs.
5. Not Taking Feedback or Adjusting Treatment
If you feel stuck or your therapy sessions aren’t helping, and your therapist refuses to change their approach or listen to your concerns, it’s a red flag.
Remember, your comfort and safety in therapy are non-negotiable.
Green Flags in a Therapist
Let’s talk about the good stuff! If you see these traits in your therapist, it’s a great sign that you’re in capable, compassionate hands:1. They Make You Feel Heard
You leave sessions feeling like your therapist really gets you—they listen without judgment, ask thoughtful questions, and make you feel validated.
2. They’re Professional Yet Warm
A great therapist strikes the perfect balance between professionalism and warmth. They maintain boundaries while showing genuine care for you.
3. They Tailor Therapy to You
Every person is different, and your therapist should adapt their approach to fit your needs, instead of sticking rigidly to one method.
4. They Respect Your Autonomy
A good therapist doesn’t tell you what to do; they guide you to make your own decisions and empower you to take charge of your life.
5. They’re Open to Feedback
If you feel like something isn’t working, they listen and make adjustments. Therapy is a collaborative process, and a good therapist values your input.
When you experience these green flags, it’s a sign you’re working with someone who truly wants to help you succeed.
How to Use This Information
Take your time when finding a therapist—don’t be afraid to “shop around” until you find someone who feels like the right fit. You deserve a therapist who prioritizes your well-being and creates an environment where you can grow.I want to leave you with this: therapy is an investment in yourself, and finding the right therapist is a critical part of that process. Pay attention to your instincts—if something feels off, trust yourself. And when you find someone who makes you feel safe, supported, and understood, it can be life-changing.
You’ve got this! Your mental health journey is worth every bit of effort, and the right therapist will be there to guide you every step of the way.
If you’re looking for a therapist or exploring your options, don’t hesitate to ask questions during consultations. This process is all about you and your growth!